


Seriously People?

by RJLadyA



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Gray asexual author, Grief/Mourning, Mention of cold symptoms, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Points of View, Sarcasm, Stream of Consciousness, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 19,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22409416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLadyA/pseuds/RJLadyA
Summary: What if you played the games so much you started dreaming about them?What if you could tell them what you really thought about their attitudes?Or why yell at the tv when you can yell at them in your sleep?
Comments: 126
Kudos: 201





	1. Acute impact trauma

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted a self insert where I can tell them off for being medieval. If my kid behaved like most of the war table we'd have "we need to talk about your behavior, my son" and "that's not how you treat people" talks on a regular basis. Edited to fix dialogue. Chapters will be where I usually yell at my screen.

It started out as a headache and light sensitivity. I don't understand, my ophthalmologist gave me the glasses with special lenses to wear while doing computer work. This should have stopped. Maybe sleep will help. I can't write fanfic if I don't remember how the game started. I need to rebleach my hair. Tomorrow.

~ 

He woke up in the darkness. Cold. Confused. His hands in shackles. The guards shouting that he was awake. Three women appeared in the entrance of his cell. One in full seeker armor, the other robes of the divine staff, the other was too far away to see clearly, she was a bit blurry, with white hair. His head was pounding so he didn't hear the question the armored woman asked at first. 

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now. Everyone at the conclave is dead. Except for you."

"You think I'm responsible." 

"Explain this." She grabs his left hand. The women circle him like sharks in the water, the third watching the first two. 

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I don't know what that is or how it got there."

"You're lying!"

Pain exploded across his face as she backhanded him. 

Apparently that was enough for the white haired woman. 

_"Are you insane? You just hit a person with impact trauma that was unconscious! I hope you don't need him alive._ "

She threw her hands up and made that disgusted disappointed sound that all women learn to make because of siblings or children. 

_"He needs to be in a trauma unit not suffering these conditions! What about hypothermia?!"_

A knife from the quiet woman glides through her torso from behind, doing... absolutely nothing. 

The armored woman whips her head around and glares at her. 

_" What? Are you going to hit me now too Seeker? Please."_ She puts her hands on her hips and glares at her.

The Seeker just froze, her face inches from the translucent woman, who apparently didn't know she was translucent. Did she die before he arrived here? 

_"Well? Get him up! He needs care! I swear to... that's it. I'm going to find a case manager._ " Turns and dissipates.

The two more solid women stare at eachother and then as one turn towards him. He raises his hands to cover his head.

"We need him Cassandra." 

"Fine." 

Apparently that was enough information for now, as he was hauled up, dragged out of the cells and shown the torn sky. 

Hopefully she made it back through the fade.


	2. Thug, Chancellor Roderick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had to take another stab at chancellor Roderick. To keep the timeline i switched chapters 2 and 4. It was bothering me and I apologize.
> 
> Since she's hiding from Solas when she whispers it's in italics. Because for real I would hide from Solas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone Every one! tell me if you read this chapter!  
> I know I switched this one and the other Roderick but I like this one so much.  
> Please forgive the one f word here!!!!!! Nope I can't keep it. Alluded to f word.

The hooded woman stands with her arms crossed, annoyed. Ah. The Chancellor at the forward camp where he has no business being because he's not useful.

"Ah, Here they come."

"You made it. Chancellor Roderick this is..."

"I know who he is. As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry I hearby order you to take this prisoner to Val Royeaux to face execution. 

_"Did he just cut her off?"_

A quick glance to the side shows nothing, she's not here but he can hear her as if her lips were pressed against his ear, whispering. 

"Order me? You are a glorified clerk. A bureaucrat."

"And you are a thug."

A shocked gasp sounds from beside him.

_"Did he just?"_

"But a thug who supposedly serves the chantry." 

_"Oh f...ker just wants to die."_

He can taste blood as bites down on his cheek to stop from laughing.

"We serve the most holy Chancellor as you well know." 

The chancellor holds his hands up as if placating them.

_"Has that gesture ever not infuriated any woman, in the history of time?"_

She's going to get him killed at this point. He takes a deep shuddering breath, grabbing his left wrist and ducking his head to hide his expression.

"Justinia is dead. We must elect her replacement and obey her orders on the matter."

Roderick keeps going, she scoffs disgusted.

_"Because the hands of the Divine were never given a contingency plan, have no training, your arrogant ass just wants to gain favor from the new regime."_

He clears his throat and speaks.

"Isn't closing the breach the more pressing issue?"

"You brought this on us in the first place!"

 _No. You didn't. Just so you know._ He feels her touch on his head, like she's soothing a child.

"Call a retreat Seeker. Our position here is hopeless." 

_"Is he actually scared? Does he think if you all leave it'll just stop?"_

"We can stop this before it's too late."

"How? You won't survive long enough to reach the temple even with all of your soldiers."

He can feel a headache coming on or maybe it is hers, since she's that close.

"We must get to the temple. Its the quickest route."

"But not the safest. Our forces can charge as a distraction while we go through the mountains."

"We lost contact with an entire squad on that path. It's too risky."

"Listen to me. Abandon this now before more lives are lost." 

_"What? How does that make any sense? Run and hope it goes away? Make it someone else's problem? Who's problem? No one wants to deal with that."_

The breach widens, the mark crackles, and everyone suddenly looks at him. He barely feels her whisper as she fades.

 _When they're done, arguing. Take the mountain path. Less templars."_

For a split second he could swear she just kissed the top of his head as if she were sending a child out to play.

Cassandra has just asked him how to proceed and Solas... is staring at him with an undiscernable expression.

" We'll take the mountain path."


	3. Chancellor Roderick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nope. Not dealing with him.  
> To keep the timeline accurate I switched my two chancellor chapters. 2 and 4 have swapped.  
> Apologies but it was annoying me!

Some rifts were closed, the spread of the breach halted and he had slept for three days apparently before he saw her again. He was walking through the Chantry, when he heard raised voices through a door. He paused listening.

"Have you gone completely mad? He should be taken to Val Royeaux immediately to be tried by whomever becomes Divine."

"I do not believe he is guilty."

"The elf failed, seeker."

Then she was there, beside him leaning on the wall. She looked the same but less blurry with waist length white hair, wearing a sleeveless black floor length dress. He wondered a moment if spirits had feet but dismissed it as she spoke.

"You know he's an ass when he can't be bothered to learn your name." 

He couldn't help it, he chuckled. She paused, tilted her head, and spoke. "Has anyone actually asked you your name yet?"

He shook his head negatively. She sighed. The argument inside continued. 

"This is actually the best outcome you can get of events so far. Play along but ask questions." She smiled a little tiredly. "Good luck." She started to turn away. 

"Wait, you aren't going to go in with me?" 

She burst into laughter.

"Oh, I'm not dealing with that." Her laughter faded with her as he opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I long ago gave up pyjamas for soft dresses to sleep in, my son has a diagnosed sleep disorder, so here's my nightgown or her dress.  
> Women's Round Neck Sleeveless A-line Casual Maxi Dres... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078SSY9K4/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdo_t1_ORvlEb8H0DE62


	4. Chris *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit about her and where I want this to go... I think. It's a bad day for me and I can't deal. Shoot! This is actually in the timeline after the 2nd chancellor chapter I got ahead of myself again. Ok I'm rearranging again! Edit: Ok now the order is correct!

He walked out of the Chantry, slowly, looking around Haven as he went. There were people he needed to talk to but he really just wanted to find somewhere quiet and breathe.

He agreed to help because of a sarcastic translucent woman who at first frightened him then made him laugh. He had heard of spirit guardians as a child, but those usually knew they were dead. Eventually he made his way back to the cabin assigned to him.

Upon entering, he saw her standing in front of the unlit fire, staring at it, tears streaming down her cheeks. He said nothing, but bent and lit the fire.

"Will you make sure it burns through the night? Please." Glancing up at her, he nods.

"He would have loved and hated this place, he was an artisan, it would have amused him that all of his beautiful leatherwork would have gone into battle, but it would never fail to protect. But the way people are treated... He would have made his home a sanctuary for any scared woman or boy." She tilts her head and looks at him. "He would have helped me protect you, and people would have teased us for having a collection but our people would have been well fed, happy, self sufficient and **safe.** "

She looks down at her hands, holding the ghosts of leather bracelets. Her dress had an additional leather corset covered in chains and knotwork. An archer's bracer now adorned her left forearm, thick bands of leather wrapped around both biceps.

Quietly he asks, "how long ago?"

"Six years ago today. I never stop missing him. My son has all but forgotten him. My best friend. Chosen family. The only man I ever was going to ... " she stops, takes a deep shuddering breath, looks at him again. "Promise me you'll keep the fire burning tonight?"

"Yes." That was enough for her, she sat on the floor in front of the fire, arms wrapped around her drawn up legs, staring into the flames. People knocked for dinner but he stoked the fire before he left and when he came back he sustained it through the night. She stayed there, halfway between whatever realms she existed in, rolling leather throughout her fingertips her eyes never leaving the flames.

He watched over her and her grief until the dawn rose and she faded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost my best and truest friend January 27, 2014. He was 41 years old and my son can't remember his face without photographs. I was lucky though:  
> "Of COURSE I love you, always." Was the last thing I said to him.


	5. Friday *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief chapter while I restart my playthrough and write copious amounts of notes.
> 
> Three days this week this was the extent of our conversations per day. My need to talk largely outweighs my son's. It amused me so I shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gameplay next chapter.
> 
> Her tent is a besten floorless indoor privacy tent from amazon.

The light is gray, filtered through the tent over her bed. Four pillows and three blankets are twisted around her arms and feet, limiting movement but not circulation.

[ my Bed tent](https://www.instagram.com/p/B8MuZ8Np79z/?igshid=1n8yp0p06k8ad)

She laughs softly, disentangling herself and getting up.  
She snatches the phone from the floor where it fell.  
"Kiddo? You home yet?"

"Yeah." Her son yells from the other room.

"Homework?"

"Nope. Folder in my bag."

"Food?"

"I'm good."

Ah, teenagers. Since that's the extent of conversation she'll probably get the whole day she decides to get up. Sleeping during the day is not the best thing but working from home is. She's lucky and she knows it. But if she didn't crochet they wouldn't eat, so there's that. Corporate life almost killed her, then it almost got her killed, eight years ago and frankly her nightmares and weird sleep schedule are well earned.  
Fear drives her waking life. Fear that she hasn't taught her son enough life skills if something should happen to her, fear of starving, fear of being homeless. It only takes one bad month then poof.  
Luckily neither of them are afraid of being alone.  
She walks to her son's room and peeks in. He's at his desk, a plate of chicken next to his hand while he plays video games.  
At least he isn't eating on his bed.  
As she turns in the hallway she let's out a shriek as she catches her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"WHEN did my hair turn brown?"  
He looks at her confused for a minute. The bottom three quarters of her hair is still bleached white.  
"It's hair mom, it grows." And rolls his eyes.

"How long was I asleep?"


	6. Meeting advisors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation about names and meeting the advisors. :)  
> this chapter kind of ran away from me.  
> I did say stream of consciousness.  
> yes. Yes I did.

He walked slowly to the chantry. The woman walking beside him. He watches her, watching everyone else around them. She was solid today. If he hadn't known she wasn't he would be hard pressed to tell, except for her feet. She didn't seem to have to walk just glide.

"You might want to pretend to walk so they don't smite you." She blinks startled, tilts her head to the side, grins wickedly, then shakes her head and matches his pace.

"What's your name?"

_"What's yours? I know what **I** named you but..."_

"Virfen"

 _"oh thank the Gods, I would have named you Venurfenhar."_ Shock floods my mind and I stop walking. She would have named me that?

"Why?"  
She flinches and looks up.

_"Sorry."_

"Why would you name a child that? Is..." glancing around he lowers his voice.. "is the Dread Wolf really your god?" She doubles over laughing.

_"Oh! I cannot."_ She waves her hands trying to catch her breath. _"Your name means path of the wolf, that is kinder and truer than you know. No Fen'harel is definately not my god. Flesh and blood and sexy as sin, if grim and fatalistic is your idea of sexy."_

Her laughter fills the air again. She wipes tears from her cheeks. _"Oh, I need a minute. At least I know you're my son's."_ and actually walks off around the side of the Chantry.

As confusing as that conversation was, he can see the Seeker in the doorway of the Chantry. Sighing he enters.

"Does it trouble you?" The Seeker asks.

"Not really."

"What's important is that your mark is now stable. As is the breach. You've given us time and Solas believes a second attempt might succeed provided the mark has more power. The same level of power used to open the breech in the first place. That is not easy to come by."

 _"No shit."_ She rolls her eyes at him from behind the Seeker's back. He's going to have to work on not jumping when she appears.

"Clearly you have something in mind."

"We do." He follows her as she leads him to the meeting room from before. "You've met Commander Cullen, leader of the inquistion's forces."

"It was only for a moment on the field. I'm pleased you survived."  
He nods.  
"This is Lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat."

"I've heard much, it's a pleasure to meet you at last."

The Seeker continues, "And of course you know Sister Liliana."

"My position here involves a degree of..

"She is our spymaster."

"Yes, tactfully put, Cassandra."

 _"I can't believe you let her cut you off like that, how long have you two worked together again?"_  
Liliana doesn't look at her, but shakes her head at Cassandra. Ah, the plan is to ignore her until she gives them something to use. The commander actually didn't hear her.

"Pleased to meet you all.

"I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the breach for good."

Liliana speaks up.  
"Which means we must approach the rebel mages for help."

"And I still disagree, the templars could serve just as well." The commander states. And it's back to the Seeker.

"We need power, commander. Enough power poured into that mark."

"Might destroy us all. Templars could suppress the breach, weaken it so." And that was her breaking point today.

_"Do you hear yourselves? Do you know how to talk without cutting eachother off? Pure speculation based on nothing. You don't even have the fade mage in the room!"_

She rounds on the commander. _"Do you even know how the veil actually works? A dual pressure system separated by a membrane? Physics? Of course you don't, this place is medieval."_

The room is quiet and still. She turns to me.

_" Everyone knows the veil was created, and will decay over time. The blights and prejudices keep pushing back your technological advancement. When you have two gases or liquids with different weights separated by a membrane, in a limited space they put pressure on it because they want to mix. You tear or cut it and it rushes towards the opening. There needs to be an equilibrium."_

She paces, gesturing as she talks. She searches their faces. _"You have no idea what I'm talking about. How are you people still alive? You know less than nothing. Do you even know your planet is a sphere? Your moons orbit it, someone calculated a solar year sometime, you have months, or are they arbitrary like your ages?"_

She stops in front of him and turns towards the commander, who has turned white and a little green.

 _"Fine. Let me dumb this down for you. Let's reduce it to simple math. If you recruit the templars you will not get all of them, they're busy. If you recruit the mages you get them all. And making this side of the veil stronger with magic will stop the breach from tearing itself open to empty itself out. Recruit the mages._ " She turns towards Liliana. _"How do you not feel like the only adult in the room?"_

The annulment hits them both like a ton of stone, but she is unaffected. He watches, eyes wide as she glides through the table to stand infront of the commander. She is furious.

 _ **"Hey asshat, I'm not actually here."**_ She bows and turns, _"Fen, we'll talk later."_ she whispers and walks through the door. Its a scramble as Liliana and Cassandra run past him to throw open the door, startling a Sister walking by.

Liliana, turns back to him.  
"Well, that was interesting."

He smiles at the spymaster.  
"I'm also guessing she is probably right."


	7. Advisors part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since the last chapter derailed, I'm trying to get back on track.  
> Comments? Suggestions? I want to add party banter as well.

The people in the room take a moment to settle. Josephine is the first to speak.

"Unfortunately neither of the groups will speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the inquisition. And you specifically. "

"Can't you simply ignore them?"

Liliana leans against the wall.  
"If only that were possible."

"Some are calling you the "Herald of Andraste" and that frightens the Chantry. The remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy and we heretics for harboring you."

She whispers in his ear again.  
_"Oh, look you didn't even have to do anything. You're savior and damnation in one breath."_

"Chancellor Roderick's doing. No doubt."

"It limits our options. Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the question."

"Just how am I the Herald of Andraste?"

"People saw what you did at the temple. How you stopped the breach from growing. They have also heard about the woman seen in the rift when we first found you. They believe she was Andraste."

A scoff, her breath ruffles his hair. _"I can't leave you alone for one minute."_

"Even if we tried to stop that view from spreading..."

"Which we have not."

 _"THAT'S not going to bite you in the ass later."_

"The point is everyone is talking about you." 

The Commander has apparently gotten a hold of himself.  
"It's quite the title isn't it. How do you feel about that?"

"It's not true." A ghostly hand pats his head, soothingly.

Liliana is back on the wall spot.  
"People are desperate for a sign of hope. For some you're that sign."

"And to others a symbol of everything that has gone wrong." She throws her hands up behind Josephine.

 _"Why would you encourage the rumors? Is it easier to identify assassins to their employers then?"_

She turns towards Liliana then.

 _"No, it makes it easier to see who you can use to further your own agenda."_ She looks horrified at her own realization, standing there. Liliana keeps eye contact with her as the conversation continues.

"They aren't more concerned about the breach? The real threat." 

"They do know it's a threat. They just don't think we can stop it." Now even the Commander is watching her reactions, hand still on his sword but less green than before. 

She rolls her eyes so hard, those of us watching from behind her can tell what she just did. _"UGH!"_

Now even Josephine, "The Chantry is telling everyone that you'll just make it worse."

_"That makes no sense! Why would you want people angry **and** afraid? People are afraid enough, they'll flock to the Chantry for reassurance and instead they'll be weaponized? If you succeed it just strips them of their own power afterwards and if you don't they'll be dead anyway."_

Liliana speaks up. Out of everyone in the room, She probably got the most information out of her outbursts.  
"There is something you can do. A Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She is not far and knows those involved far better than I."  
There's laughter at that. "Her help could be invaluable." 

The woman glides back over to him, putting her head down on his shoulder. This is the first time she's not purposefully touched him, just does. Her head thunks against him with the weight of an actual skull, he freezes suprised. Putting an arm around her shoulder is weird, she's there but not quite, the air is denser and warmer, he could almost feel her hair. 

"I'll see what she has to say." 

"You will find Mother Giselle tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe" 

"Look for other opportunities to expand the inquisition influence while you're there." 

_"Fetch and kills get old really quickly, but It's easy and straightforward. Have fun!"_ She rolls off of his shoulder and dissipates. 


	8. Pre-exploring Haven *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a different chapter but it got away from me. Darn dream plot.  
> I keep sitting down to write one thing and go completely the other direction because I feel as if the scenes can't just cut, there has to be a flow to it and a timeframe.  
> Ugh.

"Well, shall we get outfitted before your trip? Come! You have to talk to everyone!" She's excitable today, standing with her back to him, he can see the occasional thin braid hidden in her hair. "How is it I get dressed faster than you?" He smiles at her as he finishes dressing.

"Footwraps." She spins quickly.

"Darnit! Will you show me how to wrap them later? And what they're made of? How are your toes protected?" He laughs softly.

"Has anyone ever called you easily excitable?" She scoffs at his easy grin.

"My son, every day, with eyerolls." Then proceeds to demonstrate. "Ow! One of these days that will give me a headache so bad I'll vomit." 

The laughter bursts from him, he can't help it. He's never met someone like her at all. Ever. "What's your name?" And there it is, full stop, nope. 

"Look this is a dream, you should know it. You live here." 

"I told you my name." 

"Yes, but you aren't real. You're in my head, you're one of ten, but you are all pretty." Confused and startled he looks at her. Not real? But she's a spirit. Gaping he stares at her, thoughts whirling.

"One of ten?" Am I that insignifigant? As if hearing the hurt in his voice she turns to him. Her hands hold his face gently turning his chin up to face her.

[Virfen](https://www.instagram.com/p/B8U3X7Op_6I/?igshid=12s12qmapzy78)

"No. You are my son's first. The most important." She closes her eyes leans her forehead against his. "Ir abelas, Falon." He takes a deep breath, puts his hands over hers and looks up at her. True emotion displayed on her features. 

"Garas quenathra?" She steps back, hands falling.

"I don't know. I was helping my son while awake, it makes sense for me to be here while asleep."

Ah, dreamer, but from where? He can feel the fragile connection between them, and makes a decision. He offers his arm to her.

"Come let's explore together then and you can tell me how you really feel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ir abelas, falon- I'm sorry, friend
> 
> Garas quenathra- why are you here?/ why have you come?
> 
> I still haven't decided how to name her...  
> RJ?  
> What version of my name is safe in dreams?


	9. Exploring Haven -Threnn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok back to the game. Apparently writing 2 or more chapters at once is my new normal.  
> I think this is going to be a theme here. 
> 
> I recorded parts of my playthrough to get the dialogue correct.  
> I put my words in exactly where I cursed at my screen. :)

" ...anyone calls you knife ear, you come to me."  
They walk up slowly together, arm in arm. She is forcing herself to be solid and to walk. He can feel the effort it is taking in the way she grips his arm.  
"Oh you're him. Name's Threnn. Inquisition quartermaster. I'm doing what I can to provide... If you find what I need to fill one of my requisitions, I'd appreciate you bringing it in."

"How does someone end up as quartermaster for the inquisition?"  
Her nails dig into his arm, her face stoic but waiting.

"I served Ferelden under Teryn Loghain Mac Tir, best commanding officer this world has ever seen."

She grips his arm hard enough to leave a bruise, whispers _"Not enough rope yet."_

"After they all turned on him at Denerim though, there wasn't much use for people who held that view. Queen Anora offered my services to the inquisition. It was a kindness, She knew I supported her father and got me away from the political garbage."

 _"Oh you b..."_ He slowly steps a bit more in front of her, hiding her from the quartermaster's sight, without losing her grip on his arm. Honestly he didn't want to see what she would do if he let go. 

"Loghain Mac Tir betrayed the Gray Wardens and his King." 

_"and the rightful heir to the throne."_ she whispers harshly, barely loud enough for him to hear.

"We're you there at Ostagar? I was. King Cailan overextended his position and the Gray Wardens were too late lighting the signal. Following the original plan would have gotten everyone killed. Teryn Loghain made the right decision. I apologize, Sister Liliana told me I shouldn't talk about this. Forget it."

He glances back at her, fury evident on her features. Nodding to Threnn he walks a few steps away with her.

_" They were never told WHEN to light the signal, just go before Cailan was overrun. The tower was filled with darkspawn. He hoped to send the wardens to their deaths. No. He made the selfish decision, to try to take the throne because he thought letting Orlesian Wardens help was worse then letting Ferelden fall to the blight. He sold off elves to Tivinter to raise coin for his civil war. Cailan was setting Anora aside and he couldn't handle losing his power as regent. The **perceived** dishonor was too much for that power hungry bastard."_

She takes a deep breath. _"Threnn is going to be a problem. Her supplies could make or break your people. Don't trust her but fulfill all of her requests so if something happens it's her fault. She's an embarrassment to the new rule, Anora wants people to love her, not her father. That's why she's here."_

He hadn't realized he was holding her hands in his as she spoke, until they started shaking. 

"I need a minute." She walks over to the side gate behind the quartermaster's tent, while he goes back to make careful note of the requisitions.


	10. Exploring Haven - Adan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :) third chapter today. They're short, I'm going by videos as I've filmed them on my phone.

He scooped her arm and turned her back into Haven.  
"Shall we continue then?"

"Yes. Let's you have more to do, and no one angers me that much." She squared her shoulders. "How do you know so much about things outside of the Dalish?"

"Ah." He smiles. "I never could sit still. Too fast for hunting, too fascinated by things not Dalish. I was always comparing to what I knew."

They walked together through Haven. Listening to the people talk around them.

Entering a small cabin, they wait for the runner to finish.

"Seggrit asked, told me that he can't let the herbs go for anything less than eight."

"Fine. We'll gather our own."

_"He means he'll get someone else to do it for free. Probably us."_

"Tell Seggrit he'd better hope he doesn't need a salve anytime soon." She snickers.

_"A lovely threat. Shame it won't matter."_

He blinks. "It won't? "

_"No. You'll gather the herbs_." She pats his arm. _"You'll fall over elf root. It'll be fine."_

The man turns and notices them. 

"Look who's back from the dead. Again." 

"I don't recall meeting you before." She unhooks her arm and wanders over to the requisition table while they chat. 

"If be surprised if you did. You weren't particularly coherent. Someone had to patch you up after you staggered out of Maker knows where though. So you're welcome." She chuckles. 

"I didn't realize. Thank you." 

"Yeah well you can pay me back by fixing the world."  
Her hands fly up to cover her mouth as she staggers back in laughter, almost through the table. He catches her by the elbow and tucks her into his side. She gasps for breath.  
"Names Adan. I'm in charge of keeping our little band here stocked on potions and elixers. Not that Seeker Pentaghast seems to care weather we've got the supplies to actually do that." She waves a hand. 

_"The Seeker isn't really thinking about it. She just expects people to do things. Delegate."_  
Adan nods to her. 

"How are your people holding up?" 

"No shortage of work. That's for damn sure." 

"For a healer you don't seem particularly nurturing." She gasps and tucks her face into his side hiding her expression, but he can feel her body laughing.  
Adan sighs, as if he's had to explain this many times before to many people. 

"I'm not a healer. I'm an alchemist whose forced to play mother hen. You want something to explode on contact with the air? Done. Gladly." 

_"ooooh yes, please."_ She looks as happy as a child that had just been given their favorite candy. 

"Patching up wounded soldiers is a waste of my time and talents but there are few around that can help." 

"Is there anything I can do to help out?" 

"We're fine as far as raw labor goes. You've got more important things to do then tend to me. I only wish I could find master Taigen's notes. Old bastard was working on something special. He died at the conclave and his notes weren't here. Been too busy dealing with the wounded to look for them." He glances down at her. 

_"it's fine we'll find them."_

"How do I go about having potions made?" She wanders to the doorway no longer listening to their conversation, just looking outside. He finishes up, looks at the requisition table recipies and goes to her. 

"Ready?" She hooks her arm in his and they leave together. She tilts her head to the side, listening to something he can't hear. 

_"I'm sorry. I'll be back."_ she speaks quickly and then vanishes. They'd wandered a bit, so he looks around. No one is really paying attention to him, as much as the whispers go. She has been careful to not do that in front of the regular people. Hmm. Time for food then, and walks into the tavern. 


	11. Exploring Haven -Cassandra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I made a choice to never agree to being chosen but somehow Cassandra heard otherwise. 
> 
> UGH! :)
> 
> Before you all yell at me I am religious just not Chantry religious. The Chantry is everything i hate about organized religion. The politics, the racism, the greed and the delusional self importance.

The white haired woman whose name he still didn't have reappeared after the midday meal as he left the tavern. 

_"Sorry about that. Life."_

He gave a small shrug. "Would you tell me about it?"

 _"Oh I fell asleep and my son needed something so I had to wake up."_ He startled a bit at this information. He knew she was a dreamer but...

"I thought you were dead."

 _"Oh right, I'm not from your world. Can we not go there right now? I just want to help."_  
She clasps her hands as he watches her. She doesn't drop his gaze. She seems genuine, and if nothing else she has been so far. If she is a spirit then not going along with what she believes might twist her into something else.

"Alright. I want to speak with a few more people."

 _"Of course!"_ she says brightly, falling into step beside him. _"let's go."_

They come up to where Seeker Cassandra is mercilisly throttling training dummies. She pauses to look at the both of them. Following Liliana's instructions, not acknowledging the other woman's appearance.

"Ugh." She grins at the Seeker, almost shivering with a repressed giggles. 

"Are you all right?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Did I do the right thing?" The woman looks sympathetically at her, stepping to the side so she can swing freely. "What I have set in motion here could destroy everything I have revered my whole life. One day they may write about me as a traitor, a madwoman, a fool; and they may be right."  
He glances at the woman who looks sad at Cassandra's obvious pain.

"What does your faith tell you?"

"I believe you are innocent. I believe more is going on here than we can see. And I believe that no one else cares to do anything about it. They will stand in the fire and complain that it is hot."

_"Yes exactly! Thank you!"_

"But is this the maker's will? I can only guess." 

_"and now you've ruined it."_

That's not going to go over well, he'll have to change the subject.

"What's going to happen now?"

"Now we deal with the chantry's panic over you before they do even more harm. Then we close the breach. We are the only ones who can. After that we find out who is responsible for this chaos and we end them. If there are consequences to be paid for what I have done I pay them. I only pray the price is not too high." The woman sighs behind Cassandra. She shakes her head.

"You didn't have any choice."

_"Do you know how long Devine worked on that writ? Probably before she called the conclave. It was her just in case and she trusted her Hands to carry it out."_

"Didn't I? My trainers always said Cassandra you are too brash." The sword is tossed onto the ground. "Think before you act. I see what must be done and I do it. I see no point in running around in circles like a dog chasing it's tail. But I misjudged you in the beginning did I not? I thought the answer was before me clear as day."

_"Really? An explosion that big and you think that the person who fell out of the fade, hours, maybe a day later was responsible? That makes no sense!"_

"I cannot afford to be so careless again."

 _"No you can't."_ she whispers sadly.

"Can't say I'm not grateful to hear that."

"I can be harsh, I know. You said you believe you're chosen."

 _"WHAT? WHEN?"_ he doesn't look at her.

"Does that mean you believe in the maker?"

"I can't really say."

"I suppose it doesn't really matter now. I have to believe you were put on this path for a reason. Even if you do not. Now it simply remains to be seen where it leads us." Cassandra walks away. The white haired woman is suddenly directly in his face. Whisper yelling, as if to a wayward teenager in public.

_"Are you insane? The Herald could have been human, elven, dwarvish or quinari, each a rogue, mage or warrior. Gender fluid. That's 24 different heralds! You just got lucky."_ He gasps. _" DON'T look at me like that. I do mean lucky, the rest of them are dead."_ she raises a hand to her face as if staving off a headache. _"Come on you have more talking to do. Idiot."_


	12. Exploring Haven - Cullen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First talk with Cullen. Went suprisingly well. Not how i remember it my first playthrough.

She started to fade as they walked, by the time they got to the commander she looked like a heat mirage. 

"You there. There's a shield in your hand. Block with it. If this man were your enemy you'd be dead. Lieutenant don't hold back. The recruits must prepare for a real fight not a practice one."

_"This is ridiculous. No one is actually training! They're just flinging swords around. Where is the actual instruction? How to hold your shield so that you don't break your wrist the first time you try to block with it? How to align the bones in your arm while you swing? How to take an impact? The weakest part of your body for fighting is your wrists and ankles. How about eating to build muscle mass? This is just screwing around. My medieval people trained better than this."_

He walks over to the Commander.  
"We've received a number of recruits. Locals from Haven and some pilgrims. None made quite the entrance you did."

 _"Locals? Oh I hope they aren't descendents from the people who worshipped the dragon blood cult that was here during the blight. Kids that were raised in that environment. That's a whole basket of crazy no one needs."_

Her voice changes, gets flat, emotionless. _"Come, come, bonny Lynne; tell us, tell us, where you've been. Were you up, were you down. Chasing rabbits, round the town. Come, come bonny Lynne. We've a bed to put you in."_

The Commander and he look at eachother for a second before mutually deciding to ignore that outburst to save their sanity. He clears his throat.

"It wasn't my idea."

"I'd be concerned if it was." She laughs. "I was recruited to the inquisition in kirkwall myself. I was there during the mage uprising. I saw first hand the devastation it caused." He's interrupted by a messenger.

_"How does no one think the mages had a reason to uprise? Even the people who were there don't get it."_

"Cassandra sought a solution. When she offered me a position I left the Templars to join her cause. Now it seems we face something far worse."

_"Here's when he hopes it doesn't bite him in the ass and this is his way of telling you that."_

"Conclave destroyed, a giant hole in the sky. Things aren't looking good." 

"Which is why we're needed. The Chantry lost control of both Templars and mages. Now they argue over a new Devine while the breach remains."

_"Controlling people is exactly your problem. Instead of counselling and education you force duty, fear and lyrium use."_ The commander doesn't hear that. 

"The inquisition can act where the Chantry cannot. Our followers would be part of that. There's so much we can..." the commander cuts himself off.

_"I know the Chantry is horrible, but done poorly it's going to be worse usurping it with the inquisition."_

"Pardon me. I doubt you came here for a lecture." This time he smiles at that.

"You've given this alot of thought." 

"I know what happens when order is lost and action comes too late." 

_"Yay Cassandra then."_

"There's still a lot of work ahead." Another messenger interrupts them. The commander offers a wry smile "As I was saying." Gesturing to the messenger's clipboard and walks off. 

_"I'm less annoyed than I thought I'd be but not by much. Let's talk to someone else before you talk to Lysette the Templars representative please?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/MJmulXyoVY0 5:51 MLoreley was the only yt let's play I could find of Haven from Origins who had that weird child. Freaked me out then, freaks me out now. So does the spelling in it. Was anyone else creeped out by that child or was it just me?


	13. Exploring Haven -Solas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um... yup shorter than I thought but ok.

She vanished before he went to see Solas. The only sign she was there is the weight of her hand pressed against his back as she walks behind him. 

"The Chosen of Andraste a blessed hero sent to save us all."

_"crap."_

"I didn't ask for this. Someone has to find a way to seal this breach."

"Spoken nobly indeed." Solas pauses to look at him. "You think I'm mocking you. This age has made people cynical." He turns to look over Haven.

_"Oh you have no idea."_

"I've journeyed deep into the fade in ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I've watched as hosts of spirits clashed to reenact the bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten."

 _"Really? And how much of them are your actual memories relived in sleep?"_ Solas turns back to him. Her hand bunches his tunic in her grasp, as she presses herself into him to hide.

"Every great war has its heroes. I'm just curious what kind you'll be."

"What do you mean ruins and battlefields?"

"Any building strong enough to withstand the rigors of time has a history. Every battlefield is steeped in death. Both attract spirits. They press against the veil weakening the barrier between worlds. When I dream in such places I go deep into the fade, I can find memories no other living being has ever seen."

_"beautiful and terrifying."_

"You fall asleep in the middle of ancient ruins? Isn't that dangerous?"

"I do set wards and if you leave food out for the giant spiders they are content to live and let live."

_"nope not thinking about that. Spider legs over my sleeping body. Nope. Too many thin legs, too many eyes."_ She shudders into him. 

"I've never heard of anyone going so far into the fade. That's extraordinary."

"Thank you. It's not a common field of study for obvious reasons. Not so flashy as throwing fire or lightening, the thrill of finding remnants of a thousand year old dream? I would not trade it for anything."  
Solas pauses. "I will stay then at least until the breach has been closed."

"Was that in doubt?"

"I am an apostate mage surrounded by Chantry forces and unlike you, I do not have a divine mark protecting me. Cassandra has been accommodating but you understand my caution."

She digs her nails into his back.  
"Cassandra trusts you. She won't let anyone put you in a circle against your will."

"Thank you. I appreciate the thought but now let us hope the the templars or the mages have the power to seal the breach." Solas nods and walks away. She let's out the breath she was holding but not the grip on his tunic. She is completely silent as he turns to continue on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My choices were weird for that one question. Cassandra will protect you, your fears don't matter and we have bigger problems. Like wtf? With Solas and a male elf mage, no special dialogue, but I still got the heart options for Cullen. Whatever. Lol


	14. Haven - Talking about Solas *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot not game. Any reasoning person would have a wtf moment after that, and I think Virfen is reasonable. :)
> 
> Happy almost Valentine's day!

She stayed invisible in front of him until they were some distance from Solas. Then between one step and the next she is there. He looks around to make sure no one is paying them any attention and leads her into an empty cabin.

"Should I be worried that he frightens you?" She stops and turns towards him.

"I'm not afraid of him, not like you mean. Fen." She shakes her head. "Virfen." She takes a breath. "Solas is singularly focused and driven. I have many questions about how the fade works here and what it's actually made of. But, I won't endanger my existence because I have a son to take care of. I don't want the tether to my body accidentally snapped during experimentation."  
He ponders this for a minute.

"Would he hurt you intentionally?" She seems to be going through many thoughts before she answers.

"No. In this form I believe I am more fascinating to him academically than an embodied person. As long as I mean no harm to his, him, I should be fine."  
He smiles at that slip.

"Do you endanger his plans?" She grins and shrugs. Now that she's not clutched to his back like a startled nug, he sees, she is very expressive talking with her hands.

"I don't see how. Healing the sky and stopping the person who did it, are worthy goals. I know him, it will be fine." She starts to pace as she thinks.  
He says nothing, just watches her for a minute. She stops gesturing, looking back at him, watching her. "What?"

He smirks at her, raising an eyebrow in an expression of disbelief. He wasn't quite prepared for the sheepish grin that breaks out over her face.

"Alright, I have so many questions and it's... he's right there!" She gestures towards the outside with her whole arm, excitement radiating through her whole being. "He has so much information. Why are most of your spirits just aspects of a person? Where do the dead actually go since they don't exist in the fade except as reflected by spirits? The energy goes somewhere. Is it just neurons firing in our brains in a network so complicated we just think we're self aware? And our senses are so easily fooled. What do I feel like to you?" Her arms reach out and drape across his shoulders. Startled he reflexively wraps his around her waist. "Do I feel like energy or fabric? Do I have a body here or just what my mind has decided I look like? Can I even see myself in a mirror here? Sometimes I am shorter than you and other times I can hug you like I did when my son was still shorter than me. Am I floating or stretching? Is it easier if I'm not using my projected body? Can I fly? Can I scout ahead and find things you need like elfroot or whatever? Do darkspawn or demons see me? Can they damage my spirit? Demons are just aspects, without a body, can they take pieces of me from behind?" That's a sobering thought. She's still gesturing with her hands as she talks, but at that she pushes out of his grasp and wraps her arms around herself. "I dont want to be shredded. I just want to make sure you all survive and help the people who aren't strong enough." He can't answer most of these questions but one.

"You feel like fabric with a body inside. Warm when you're excited and cool when you are scared. Your hand on my back when I first started talking to Solas was like ice. By the time we were done you were warm. Your skin when I held your hands feels like skin but muted somehow." Her eyes widen.

"Oh like both of us put on too much silicone glove! moisturiser! I mean lotion! Hand lotion for dry and cracked skin!" He nods. "Thank you! Oh I don't think I want to find a mirror just yet. Are my ears still pierced? Sometimes I forget they are there." She grabs her hair and twists it like a rope then coils it into a messy bun tucking the end in so it holds itself. He looks and gestures.  
"This one has six." She turns her head "This one has three."

"Shoot that's not right there should be seven on the right side." She concentrates and runs her fingers over her ear, counting from the helix to the lobe. "Ah the bottom one is missing. Oh I'll have to fix that the next time I'm awake and see if it's different here." She looks up at him, smiling and relieved. "Thank you. Wait, don't you still have people to talk to before evening meal?" She holds her arm out for him to take it. He does.

"I haven't tripped once since I got here, this is how I walk with my son in the rain when there are too many people moving around me so I don't get jostled." She looks down. "Yeah, I don't want to know if I have feet just yet either. I feel them if that helps. Sometimes it just doesn't matter." She pats his arm, reassuring them both, takes a deep breath, let's her hair fall back down. "Ok, Varric next?" He opens the door and leads her outside. Conversation put away for later as they walk towards the fire Varric seems to camp at. 

Neither noticing the tall slender man leaning against the wall just around the corner from the door, to anyone outside watching, he was obviously eavesdropping, but to the two of them oblivious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just picture him waiting until she comes back and following at a distance until they enter the cabin then fade stepping to the wall. Calling him a slender man is revenge for the emotional pain. :)
> 
> I'm American Italian. I talk with my hands and when I'm excited I talk alot.


	15. Solas pov *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this was in my head. I've edited it half a dozen times. I'm not sure if I like putting a chapter like this into this. It seems a little too AU. What do you think?
> 
> Happy Valentine's day!

Solas saw the sky break open, the man, little more than a child fall out of the fade. His magic now imbedded in his hand. For days he tried to heal him, study what happened, but he gave up. He wouldn't wake up.

Those first few days of fighting demons and knowing. Figuring out where to go to plan, figure it out.

Then he did wake and he was impossibly young. A mage but not of the people.  
He brought a spirit with him. A woman completely fed up with the insignificant chancellor, and who held no love for the Chantry. They paid him no attention, which suited him fine. He heard her assure the man that this wasn't his fault. How did she know that? Was she there? How was she here? She didn't reside inside the man, he was no abomination. What does she know? How does she know it?

They closed the rift and she vanished. They spent three days watching him and she did not appear. Then he awoke and she was right there again. Following him about, leaning on his arm as if they were strolling through a park. 

He heard that she yelled at the advisors for not including him in their discussions of the fade. That templar powers didn't work on her. The ravens flew as the spymaster tried to figure out who she was. Consensus being that they would listen to her but ignore her presence to see what information she would give. She gave a lot and nothing. Understanding of their situation, advice based on logic not fear. A skill few possessed here. 

A day later the boy came out to talk to people, explore Haven. They wandered into the woods for hours and came back with what seemed like the area's entire supply of iron ore, and elfroot. They found a logging station as well. She would walk away from him as they talked and he would turn to follow her, coming back with notes, schematics and more elfroot. What did she know? How did she find these things?  
Eventually they came to him. He did, but she masked her presence so deeply if it wasn't for the occasional flinch the man made he wouldn't know she was there.  
She didn't coach him in what to say, She muttered a word but she mentioned **his** memories and that would not do. He waited until they walked away and followed. Reduced to eavesdropping if he wanted to know what she did.  
He thanked shoddy craftsmanship and elven hearing as he stepped to the cabin as the door shut.

He heard the man ask the same question he wanted to know. Jumped when she said Fen, wondering if she knew, relieved when she called the man by his name Virfen. She knew he had plans but brushed off that they were different than his. She was alive, or thought she was, a dreamer, _a mother_ , not willing to risk herself to talk to him. He missed what the man, Virfen, said but not her voice. Louder, excitement through the wall. So many questions. Then fears. 

Discussing her physical form. Wise not to shatter her own illusion by looking into a mirror. Then she deftly put it all away to focus back on the man and the inquisition. They were going to talk to the child of stone next. He left after they did. Gathering his thoughts and walking back to his cabin. No one paid him any attention. She is correct in her assumption that he wants to study her, but not why. She is more than a spirit but how? This will take careful thought. How to learn what she knows without scaring her off and hiding it from the others in case she knows more than he wanted. He makes a promise to himself, he will treat her gently in case she is actually alive. But if she knows his identity....


	16. Exploring Haven -Varric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking to Varric the first time.
> 
> Happy Valentine's day!  
> Yeah I upload 2 to 3 chapters at once. Apparently that's my thing because I'm writing this on my phone.

They walk up to the fire together, She a few steps beside him. 

"So now that Cassandra's out of earshot, are you holding up alright? I mean you go from being the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful. Most people would have spread that out over more than a day." She laughs softly, not interrupting him. 

"I've no idea what's happening anymore."

"That makes two of us. For days now we've been staring at the breach watching demons and maker knows what fall out of it. Bad for morale would be an understatement. I still can't believe anyone was in there and lived." She smirks still watching.

"If it was that bad, why did you stay? Cassandra said you were free to go." 

_"Go where?"_ Varric winks at her. 

"I like to think I'm as selfish and irresponsible as the next guy, but this? Thousands of people died on that mountain. I was almost one of them and now there's a hole in the sky. Even I can't just walk away and leave it to sort itself out."

 _"I'm glad you are here."_ A quick glance from both of them shows open honesty on her face. She is glad he stayed. 

"I'm still not sure I believe any of this is really happening." She frowns at that but let's it go.

"If this is all just the maker winding us up, i hope theres a damn good punchline coming." 

_"It's not. There's a person behind this but"_ she shakes her head as if clearing it, winces in pain and shrugs, turning to stare into the fire.

"You might want to consider running at the first opportunity. I've written enough tragedies to recognize where this is going."

 _"You would barely get out of the gate. Cassandra would drag you back and Liliana would kill you for the insult."_ Varric chuckles at her but continues including them both in the conversation now.

"Heroes are everywhere. I've seen that. But the hole in the sky, that's beyond heroes. We're going to need a miracle." She nods and Varric walks away.


	17. Exploring Haven - Varric talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second fire talk. Bianca, hard in hightown, kirkwall.
> 
> I've learned NOTHING about my worldstate!

Virfen catches up to Varric as he walks away, She follows.

"Can I ask you something, Varric?"

"You want to talk about me?" He scoffs. "I'm flattered. Also inclined towards extravagant lies." She grins and sits by the fire, fully prepared to be amused.

"How do you and Cassandra know eachother?"  
Varric sighs.

"You heard about the Kirkwall Chantry being destroyed? The guy responsible used to be a friend of mine."

_"Used to? Well crap."_

"The Seeker had questions about that and I have answers." She shakes her head. 

"Are you from Ferelden, Orlais?"

"Free marches. Born and raised in kirkwall. And despite whatever you've heard, no kirkwall's not that bad."  
He sighs as if he's had to answer that question before.

"I'm not clear on your line of work. You're a merchant?" 

She bursts out laughing. When they both look at her she begins to recite.

 _"We join kirkwall city guardsman Donnen Brennokovic..."_ she grins up at Varric, waves her hand as if to say continue. He laughs right back at her.

"I'm a businessman, my family has a seat in the dwarven merchant's guild. Merchants buy and sell goods, businessmen buy and sell stores. In my spare time I manage a spy network and occasionally..." He gestures to the woman still grinning "I write books."

"If you've run a spy network why is Liliana our spymaster?" He shrugs.

"To be honest with you she's just a better spymaster. The truly great ones can keep their distance, they don't get attached to their people. Me. I always end up babysitting my informants and worrying about their families. We're in better hands with her."  
She makes a so so gesture with her hand and shrugs.

"You're an author. What kind of books have you written?" 

"I've tried my hands at a few genres. My crime serials are my most popular. As she can probably tell you. Hard in Hightown, guards breaking the rules to get things done. The Tale of The Champion is the most famous thing I've written. Infamous maybe. I started a romance serial once Swords and Shields, but to be honest I don't have a knack for romances. Most of my stories end up in trash heaps. Probably that says something unfortunate about me, personally."

"What sort of shops do you own"

"Actually we don't own shops. That was just an example. Mostly we invest in moneylenders, auction houses, a few mercenary companies, a couple of smithys. I think we own half a bean plantation in Rivaine somewhere. Most of that's my brother's doing. Bertrand had business sense. Not much tact but loads of business sense." She looks confused at that. As if putting pieces together that didn't quite fit.

"Where did you get that crossbow? I've never seen one like it."

"Bianca? She's one of a kind. I got her off a guy in Darktown. Took me a week to pry his dead fingers off the stock." She stands abruptly and starts to pace.

"Who's she named for?"

"Can't tell you."

"And the reason for that is?"

"Complicated. It's the one story I'll never tell. We just have to leave it at that."

"Thanks Varric."

"No problem."  
She walks away. It's the first time she's walked away from a conversation that he's seen. When he catches up to her she's annoyed.

 _" He deserves better than her. That greedy woman just wants to use his devotion to make herself feel better about being married to someone else. She probably uses him against her husband. She's such a bi..."_ She cuts herself off. He puts a hand on her arm, to slow her down. 

"Hey, it's alright."

 _"No. It's not, but I can't do anything about it. I need a cup of tea. Ok?"_ She looks at him, waiting. After a moment he understands, and nods, removing his hand from her arm. She fades out of reality, while he's left wondering if he should speak to the Templar representative while she's not there.


	18. Exploring Haven - Liliana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liliana's breakdown in the tent.  
> <3

"...blessed are the righteous, the light in the shadow in their blood the makers will is written. Is that what you want from us? Blood? To die so that your will is done? Is death your only blessing?" Liliana is kneeling in prayer but at their entrance she turns.

"You speak for Andraste no? What does the maker's prophet have to say about all of this? What's his game?"  
She whispers quickly so Liliana won't hear her, twisting a new pendant.  
_"Life is so much better if you think of the maker as a behavioral scientist. He made this place and let it go, to see what you all do. He can't interfere or it will corrupt the data."_

"How is this a game?"

_"well, I can tell you that."_

"Do you see the sky? What about the temple ruins? The bones lying in the dust? Even if you didn't support the Divine's peace, you wouldnt call this right. Who could?"

 _"This world's first act of terrorism and they blame it on the maker. Haven't you learned that humans destroy everything? Take someone power hungry and psychotic and give them power, there you go quick and easy. Destroy the world."_ She drops the pendant to her chest, stepping back. Liliana's eyes track it.

"So many innocent lives, the faithful murdered where the holiest of holies once stood. If the maker willed this, what is it if not a game or a cruel joke?"

"Don't ask me. I'm as baffled as you are." 

"You probably don't even worship the maker."

_"i don't."_

"Lucky. He asks a lot."

_"He doesn't **ask** for anything."_

"The Chantry teaches that the maker abandoned us. He demands repentance for our sins. He demands it all. Our lives, our deaths. Justinia gave him everything she had, and he let her die." 

"Maybe you should be angry at the people who murdered her. "

"If the maker doesn't intervene to save the best of his servants, what good is he?" She gasps, shocked at the other woman for her admission. 

"I used to believe I was chosen, just as some say you are. I thought I was fulfilling his purpose for me. Working with the Divine, helping people. But now she's dead. It was all for nothing."

_"THIS is the problem with zealots. If you don't get praised for the work you do with your own hands it means nothing. That's against every religion I know. You do good, to do good, helping is the reward. Being someone who can help, having a life that allows it, is the reward. Then knowing if you then need help, someone will help you because you are good."_

"Serving the maker meant nothing. "

 _"Yes! exactly, it's how you take care of his creation and everyone in it, that matters because you are part of it."_  
He looks a bit lost but speaks anyway

"Maybe you have another purpose, I can help you find it." She facepalms, pats his shoulder and looks at Liliana. 

"No this is my burden, I regret that I even let you see me like this. It was a moment of weakness. It won't happen again. Come. To work then." And leads him to her desk in the tent. The woman throws up her hands in exasperation, takes off her necklace and tosses it onto the desk. Surprisingly, it stays after she leaves. Liliana slowly picks it up, turning it in her hands. A small vial, with a dark purple black liquid in it, something engraved on it. "Ah, a gift then." She pockets it and says no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The books say black, but then it gets enchanted and they add lyrium so blue or purple black. *shrug* its red on the screen! What happens when it's oxidized?


	19. Exploring Haven - Varric red lyrium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last game plot before the hinterlands. I think.  
> :)
> 
> I like putting in links to earth objects I'm talking about, because sometimes descriptions aren't clear enough. Hope that's ok. Only one per chapter and it has to mean something emotionally or for plot.   
> I have plans for the tent a few chapters back.

He leaves Liliana's office tent and looks around. It's been a few hours and she didn't come back. There, sitting on a sack of something near Varric's fire, she is. He walks over to them both.

 _"... I don't remember breaking his ear off so I have no idea where it is. It was a gift when my son was born."_ Varric is looking at a mug, of tea? In her hands. She finishes it and turns it towards the firelight. _"See its so pretty and it's a bit of a travel to see if the potter can fix it or if he still works there. His shop is..."_ her eyes look faraway for a second. _"ninety six miles away. It's a dragon holding the cup on his back it's not like the tea goes into his skull. That's why I like it. Tiny dragon tea guardian. Hello Virfen! Come sit."_

[Dragon mug](https://www.instagram.com/p/B8sRPAcJE_G/?igshid=1iujjh4kuvchu)

Smiling, she pats a crate next to her. Varric looks over.

"Need something?"

"The red lyrium we found in the temple seemed to upset you."

"My brother Bartrand and I sort of discovered red lyrium during an expedition in the deep roads. We located an ancient thaig so old it barely looked dwarven. There was this idol there made of it. Bartrand brought it to the surface and well everything's gone downhill from there." Quickly she looks up, mouth falling open in dismayed shock. But she says nothing, suddenly watching Varric like a hawk.

"So what is it just another kind of lyrium?"

_"Nope."_

"The red stuff is lyrium like a dragon is a lizard. It's not just a different color. It has a whole host of weirdness all its own."

_"Hah!"_

"I've written to every mining caste house in Orzammar no one's seen this stuff before or knows where it comes from."

"What makes it special?"

"Regular lyrium can mess you up pretty badly but you have to ingest it for that to happen." She scoffs.

_"That's why templars are addicts."_

"Red lyrium messes with your mind when you're just near the stuff. You hear singing, get violent, paranoid and then it does creepy shit. Makes things float, brings statues to life. It also turned Kirkwall's knight commander to lyrium."

 _"Couldn't have happened to a better person."_ she sneers.

"Everyone's been kept at least a hundred paces from it since."

"How did the red lyrium get into the temple of sacred ashes?"

"I don't know. As far as I know the only piece to make it to the surface was destroyed. And the location of the thaig it came from is a secret." She rolls her eyes.

_"Obviously not."_

"Did someone find more of it in the deep roads? That's not a cheery thought."

"I think that's enough on red lyrium." She looks like she wants to say more, but shrugs and keeps silent.

"Yeah not really my favorite subject."

 _"Thanks for the talk Varric. Sorry about the subject."_ He waves a hand in a dismissive gesture. She picks up her tea and realizes it's empty, and sighs, holding the mug down by her hip. He stands up with her and starts to head towards his cabin.

_"Do you know what lyrium actually is?"_

"A mineral?" She looks at him with a flat stare.

 _"No. It's fossilized titan's blood. Red lyrium has the blight. Not that knowing that will help you any."_ shock floods his system, stopping him in his tracks.

"Do you have proof?"

 _"I don't need proof. It's common knowledge."_ She sighs. _"I realized how elitist that sounded as i said it. I'll keep a lookout for proof that is and isn't under lock and key for you, then it won't have to be a secret. Alright?"_

"Alright."

 _"Let's get you tucked in, I'll leave when you fall asleep. I need to make sure my son finished his math homework."_ He nods as they come to the cabin door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've completely forgotten how to graph linear equations and slope intercepts. 8th grade math. It's only been 20+ years. I can't wait until my kidlet gets to calculus and physics. Those I still use. :)
> 
> thank you https://www.varsitytutors.com/hotmath/hotmath_help/topics/graphing-linear-equations


	20. Exploring Haven -Lysette the Templar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The random templars arguing over weather or not to stay in haven.

They were walking together looking for elfroot they might have missed.

"...What does that even mean anymore? That we split ranks and fight amongst ourselves instead of protecting the mages?" Her male companion replies.

"Better that, than we stay here with this inquisition." The woman listening looks almost disappointed in her fellow templar.

"You're awfully quick to dismiss the people who saved your life." The woman notices them approaching. "Yes?"

"I'd like your take on the templar order."

"It's a shadow of what it was. Where once we protected all people from the dangers of magic, we now posture and grab at power. One day I hope the circles are once again sanctuaries where mages can practice their craft."

_"But mages were never safe from abuse as I understand it. Hence their fall."_

"Do you have any idea what caused the explosion?"

"No I'm just a recruit."

_"Ah. That explains it."_

"Belief and faith doesn't get you closer to the important meetings, though that distance did save my life."

"How did you come to be a templar?"

"It seemed the right thing to do. My family are tradesfolk in Denerim. I could have become a cobbler like my father, but this seemed better."

_"Why?"_

"It's the chance to uphold the chantry's laws and help the mages through a troubled time."

_"What troubled time do you mean?"_

"I'm surprised to hear that."

"Not all templars want to make mages into prisoners or villians. Some of us just want to keep a balance and let you practice your craft in safety." The woman gestures to Virfen's staff. "One person trying to do something can make a difference. You should keep that in mind Herald."

 _"Well shit. Alright then. That was almost a threat. Definately a promise. Until... they don't allow you to keep that idealism. You're so young..."_ She shrugs, trying not to say the rest of what she's actually thinking to the other woman. Sharing a glance with her he changes the subject.

"You're not going to rejoin the order?"

"When the circle went up your forces rescued those few of us still alive. My life is a debt I intend to repay. However I can." 

"I will talk to you later." 

"Walk in the makers grace." She looks askance at her before they walk away. 

_"Have you ever heard someone say "Have a blessed day." and know it meant "I'm done with you fuck off?"_ He looks a little confused by the turn of phrase, but shakes his head.

"No."

_"It feels a bit like that. Although that went much better than I thought it would, her companion can be kept from starting trouble by her and her actions."_


	21. Preparations for the Hinterlands *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No game plot.  
> Travel kind of. This chapter got away from me.
> 
> I have the templar chapter to put in before this. I'm just too tired to think coherently right now.  
> Edit: added the templar chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Necklace link added...  
> This fic is not an excuse to make jewelry, sew clothes, crochet and work leather. I do those anyway. :)

When he opened his eyes, She was sitting on the chest on the other side of the room, with a cup of tea. It was weird to see the objects she interacted with disappear as soon as she put them down, but it has been over a month, he was getting used to it.

_"Good morning. Sleep well?"_

"Surprisingly yes. Are you coming with us to the Hinterlands?" She lifted her feet and spun around, putting her back to him. It has become habit, her looking at the wall or anywhere he is not during his morning routine. They had the timing down by now.

_"If I don't, I won't see you for half a year. So yes I'd like to go. Do you think Liliana and Cullen will let me?"_

"Why not? You can stay solid or transparent for extended periods of time."

 _"I'd rather..."_ She was interrupted by a knock on the door. He walked over to it, footwraps in hand.

"Who is it?"

"Sister Nightengale." Oh oh crap. He opened the door and stepped back, gesturing for her to come inside. Liliana enters quickly and shuts the door behind her. She is carrying a medium sized box about the size of a loaf of bread.

"I have spoken to Seeker Cassandra and Commander Cullen. You cannot leave Haven as you are."

"But I.." She stops him.

"Not you. Her." She looks defeated, but nods.

 _"I need to make a list of things for you to look for while you are there. Do you have any kind of maps for the Hinterlands? I need to tell you where things are there as well. There are so many tiny resources. This is going to take you months."_ Liliana holds up a hand to stop her.

"You've proven you mean us no harm. Solas has temporarily convinced the Commander that you are not a demon. Varric is amused by you and Cassandra has noticed how you take the children "elfroot hunting" and to watch the wild nugs when they're underfoot. You've been careful to always appear solid to everyone but the leaders of the inquisition and Solas." She raises an eyebrow at her. "At first I thought you were afraid of him but now I believe it amuses you to not be what he expects." She laughs and nods affirmatively. "We have a solution to your dilemma." She places the box down and opens it carefully. Inside are five crystals on necklaces, each inside of a silver frame.

 _"What are they? They don't quite look like sending crystals, they're close but the setting is more like jewelry."_ Liliana smiles.

"You have a good eye. The rumors I've spread is that you will be staying here and are testing a new type of enchantment on a sending crystal. Varric, Cassandra, Virfen, Solas and I will each wear one. While you are within ten feet of any of them you will be corporeal. If you are not you will vanish. It is my understanding that it requires less energy to be invisible."

 _"I don't actually know if it does. It takes more concentration to remember shoes but... This will also allow me to come back here and talk to you if something unforseen happens to the party. Why are you doing this?"_ Liliana smiles, it's cold and sharp.

"You tell me." Surprisingly she grins at that, pleased.

 _"All of the reasons I can think of, ok"_ She doesn't give Liliana time to answer. _"To find out if I can leave Haven. If I don't act the way you suggest, it proves I cannot be trusted. We can test the accuracy and efficiency of my knowledge. I'll find out if being solid or translucent takes more energy or if it doesn't matter at all. At one point you will send a raven telling me to come back and we will find out if I am faster than a raven. I won't have to worry about my clothes. They can stay as is. Because you figured out my necklace."_ She takes a breath. _"Are they actually enchanted with anything?"_ Liliana looks satisfied with everything she just said.

"Yes." She hands one to him. It is surprisingly delicate, made to be worn above armor. Silver chain, silver frame and a green stone. They are all different colors. He puts it on over his head. As soon as it settles it glows softly. She moves closer to it but it does not change. It's about as bright as a firefly, not enough to be a problem in stealth, and overlooked in daylight. "You will keep this on no matter what. Eat, sleep, bathe, fight with it on. You are her base. The others can take theirs off to bathe or sleep, their way of letting you know they want privacy." She nods and picks up the next one and puts it on. It's amethyst, to match her hood. "Everyone's is color coded. Solas will have the citrine. Cassandra will have the light sapphire. Varric will have the topaz. You will need to find something similar on your end."  
_"I can do that. It will be selenite or quartz. Um white with striations or cloudy crystal."_ Liliana looks at her. _"Right. Now. Got it."_ and vanishes. When she comes back she holds the necklace out for Liliana to compare to the others.

[Earth version](https://www.instagram.com/p/B817keJpgJj/?igshid=1bbpj9bpq4zyz)

"It will do. If this is successful we will make more as needed." She puts it on. Liliana turns to leave.

_"Wait! What's the enchantment?"_

"It glows if it's worn. Welcome to the inquisition R.J."

_"Thank you."_ She carefully doesn't react to her name. 

Virfen nods and finally puts on his wraps. After a few last minute checks they depart.

The walk to the Hinterlands took days.


	22. Walking to the Hinterlands *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apparently went a little Spock like with Solas. I will not apologize this time... ;) maybe next time.
> 
> Quick travel.

She was gone. As soon as he stepped through the boundary of the edges of Haven. A runner was sent back through but she was not there. He couldn't feel her presence. 

"She's gone." He didn't even try to hide his disappointment. He looked at Varric who was wearing his stone proudly nestled above his usual necklace, copper chain and and brass setting, his stone looked like a chunk of raw gold in the sunlight. Cassandra's was also visible, the blue and silver matching her armor and Solas who... reached into the neck of his vest and pulled it out so it could be seen, wore rose gold with a warm yellow stone. The colors matched their owners, either their aesthetic or skintone. That must have been what she meant by looking more like jewelry than just communication objects. Varric spoke quietly. 

"Well if she went home she'll be safe and if she comes back at least the commander can't think you are an abomination anymore." He nodded and started walking. Cassandra looked like she wanted to say something but didn't. He kept his silence during their walk, only stopping to gather the occasional plant by the side of the road. 

The first night at camp was entirely too quiet. Morning followed and he still spoke little, he had been unaware how he was used to being greeted by her every morning. She was like a friend you've known your entire life and never had to apologize for being yourself with.

Varric and Solas watched him, taking their cues from how he acted. He didn't want to admit to the growing sense of loneliness but everyone noticed. Cassandra finally broke the evening on the second day. She sat across the fire from him and spoke.

"Explain this to me. You didn't know her before the conclave and you are moping about like you lost your best friend." Varric scoffs at her.

"Well he kind of did, Seeker." She waves her hand.

"That's not what I meant. I don't understand spirits but how do you know she won't just appear where you need her to be? You're safe here, you don't actually need her right now. Shouldn't that be a good thing?" That even got Solas's attention. He paused eating, reflecting on her words. 

"She has tied herself to you. It seems logical that she would appear when you have need of her knowledge or her ability to find every elfroot and piece of iron within a mile." A joke? From Solas? He must have looked worse than he felt. 

"I apologize. It's been difficult to go from my life before to now. R.J. has made it easier, like I brought family with me." Varric pipes up again.

"Family you actually like." He should know better than to try and drink when Varric speaks, because this isn't the first time it's ended up being laughed out. But it helps. 

"Thank you." Pausing, he grins. "I will try to be less of a walking rain cloud and focus on our mission. If she comes back, well, we'll wait and see."

"And I won't let her forget she missed out on the most exciting, lengthy elfroot picking trip ever." Varric raises his glass. 

The rest of the trip was better. They talked quietly as they walked, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight, the calm of sleeping in tents away from crowds of people, listening to the nighttime insects and sounds of the campfire crackling night. He picked a wild clover and tucked it away for her on the third day.  
Tomorrow they would be at the Hinterlands. He hoped she would be there but it would be alright, he would get by.


	23. Hinterlands- part 1 - Harding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scout Harding because she's fabulous.
> 
> I've edited chapter titles * means no in game text in that chapter.

An inquisition dwarven scout meets them outside of a camp. 

"The Herald of Andraste, I've heard the stories, everyone has, we know what you did at the breach. It's odd for a dalish elf to care what happens to anyone else but you'll get no backtalk here. Thats a promise." She squares her shoulders. "Inquisition scout Harding at your service. I well, all of us here, we'll do whatever we can to help."

 _"Good to hear."_

Varric looks extremely amused.

"Ever been to Kirkwall's hightown?" 

"I can't say I have why?"

"You'd be Harding in... oh never mind." Cassandra makes that disgusted sound. Varric jumps as arms encircle him from behind. R.J. is kneeling down and grinning, as she wraps him in a hug.

 _"That was almost fabulous."_ He laughs and pats her arm, she releases him and stands with their party facing the scout, for all intents looking like she just walked out from behind Solas and was with them the whole time. She waits for him to speak.

"What's the situation out here in the Hinterlands?"

"We came to secure horses from Redcliffe's old horsemaster. I grew up here and people always said that Dennet's herds were the strongest and fastest this side of the Frostbacks, but with the mage-templar fighting getting worse, we couldn't get to Dennet. Maker even knows if he's still alive. Mother Giselle is at the crossroads helping refugees and the wounded. Our latest reports say that the war's spread there too. Corporal Vale and our men are doing what they can to help the people but they won't be able to hold out very long. You'd best get going no time to lose." He nods and they turn away. 

"Where have you been?" He whispers at her. She looks taken aback.

_"It's only been seconds for me. I blinked everything was black and then blinked again and everyone was here. How long was it for you?"_

Varric inturrupts. "You may not want to have this conversation out here. Nice outfit change by the way."

She looks down at her shirt, black long sleeved with the warden heraldry in gray. Much more form fitting than her usual dress, but the skirt is still full and covering her feet. She shrugs.

 _"If I go somewhere weird and wait for you it should help not to get me killed."_ He smirks at her.

"Just the shirt?" She cackles and swats at his arm.

 _"Dont knock the mom boob shelf, Fen. I earned these."_ She points towards two people near makeshift desks. _"Go talk to the requisition officers. I want to wander around the camp. Shall we go on in half an hour?"_ He nods watching her. She rolls her eyes and walks forward, bringing him into a hug.  
_"I won't desert you ok? Not of my own will."_ He wraps his arms around her in a high grip, hopefully showing that they're not lovers. With the people here, who knows what they'll think. He palms the clover and tucks it into the top of her skirt as he releases her. 

"Thank you. I think half an hour would be fine."

He leaves her standing there, her hand at her waist hiding the flower against her skin.


	24. Hinterlands -meeting Mother G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really just wanted a reason to call her mother G.  
> I have such a hard time hearing some of her words with her accent, apologies if I got any of her words incorrect.

The fighting was more annoying than anything but it helped them learn to work together. She walked behind them tapping shoulders when she wanted them to turn to the left or the right. The most amusing moment was seeing her tap Solas in the center of his spine causing him to spin around and face the man who snuck up behind him. That was the quickest death Virfen had ever witnessed. 

When it was over and the flag raised, a scout pointed out Mother Giselle.

"Lie still. There are mages here that can heal your wounds. Lie still." The wounded refugee is panicking.

"Don't let them touch me, mother their magic is..." She cuts him off gently. 

"Turned to a noble purpose, surely no more evil than your blade. Hush dear boy, allow them to ease your suffering."

 _"Better them than me or Cole."_ she whispers so no one else can hear. 

"Mother Giselle?" He approaches carefully.

"I am. You must be the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste." He nods respectfully.

"I'm told you asked for me." She begins to walk, leading him away from listening ears.

"I know of the Chantry's denouncement. I am familiar with those behind it. I won't lie to you. Some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the new devine. Some are simply terrified, so many good people senselessly taken from us."

"What happened was horrible." 

"Fear makes us desperate, but hopefully not beyond reason." He glances up at R.J. who is hiding from the other woman's gaze. She looks disappointed. "Go to them. Convince the remaining clerics you are no demon to be feared. They have heard only frightful tales of you."

_"frightful tales? From who? he hasn't done anything yet?"_

"Give them something else to believe."

_"That's what were doing now."_

"That won't just make it worse?"

"Because you are a mage?"

"That too."

"Let me put it this way, you needent convince them all, you just need some of them to doubt. Their power is their unified voice, take that from them and you'll receive the time you need."

"So I show up, say hello, show them the mark on my hand." He must look as skeptical as he feels.

"I honestly don't know if you've been touched by fate or sent to help us, but I hope. Hope is what we need now. The people will listen to your rallying call as they will listen to no other. You could build the inquisition into a force that will deliver us or destroy us."

_"God forbid you actually do anything good for yourselves."_

"I will go to haven, and provide sister Liliana with names of those in the Chantry who will be amenable to a gathering. Its not much but I will do whatever I can." She leaves and R.J. steps over.

 _"I'd like to see her argue with Chancellor Roderick. That kind of courteous disdain should be weaponized for the people not against them."_ After all of that, he can't help but agree.


	25. Hinterlands- party banter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party banter in the hinterlands.  
> And some silliness.

It was the day after the crossroads when they were trying to set up inquisition camps further in the hinterlands. Everyone had gotten more comfortable with eachother and the conversation ranged from deeply personal to pure bullshit.  
Cassandra spoke up at they were trudging to their fifth cave.

"How do you write as you do Varric? I can never find the proper words." Varric chuckles. R.J. looks back at them and moves closer to listen, grinning.

"You write? Really?" Varric winks at her obvious eavesdropping.

"I've needed to describe events in reports. They always come off as..."

"Dry, boring, lifeless, stale."

"You are an ass."

"Just helping you find those words."

_"Sometimes I feel bad for her, she doesn't have the words to shape what she's thinking in a way that communicates it clearly."_

"But you've got to admit it's amusing." Varric says.

_"Like watching a baby calf learn to walk. You know they're going to fall and hurt themselves but it's still completely adorable."_

Virfen and Solas share an incredulous look as she enters the cave first.

_"This one's almost empty, lots of stuff to loot through though."_

"You sure you weren't a pirate?"

 _"I like shiny things"_ she holds up her hands, moving them so the light hits her painted nails, they look silver but reflect rainbows. The thin silver rings she wears, one on each finger. _"I've read over 20,000 books in my lifetime so far."_ Solas gapes at her but she doesn't notice, focused on Varric  
_"I horde books, buttons, fabric, yarn, paintbrushes and nail polish. So if I had family that were pirates, I didn't learn anything. I am poor."_ She laughs.

"Whatever you say magpie." She stops.

 _"Nope. That's a myth. Shiny things scare them, they only gather things to nest with when they're forced out of their land due to development. Pick another or I will be offended, writer."_ She smiles to take the sting out of her words and winks at Cassandra. Varric laughs.

"Note taken." And follows her into the cave.

[My favorite nail polish](https://www.instagram.com/p/B9CyNHpp7q1/?igshid=13ccld1zluv58)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-28797519 (magpies don't steal shiny objects article)
> 
> My favorite nail polish is by China glaze and it's called I sea ponies. It's silver metallic base with micro holographic. There isn't a pretty swatch of it anywhere. I tried though it is better than the China glaze official page.


	26. Hinterlands 10th cave banter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun party banter gigglefits ensued

It was becoming almost monotonous. Virfen was learning more every day about how his companions thought and nothing was more telling than when they were bored.

"You know what I like about you Chuckles? Your boundless optimism."

"It's comforting whatever qualities I lack you'll invent for me Varric" Solas replies.

"No, really. Why else would an elven apostate help crazy Chantry folk close a hole in the sky."

"When you put it like that, I must concede your point."  
Solas looked mildly affronted and R.J. was leaning against the wall, trying not to laugh out loud.

Later in camp...  
"I've wondered, how did you know to approach us Solas?" R.J. sitting across from Solas watches his face with rapt attention as Cassandra continues. "The breach opened, we were scrambling and barely had time to think and there you were."

"I went to see the breach for myself, I did not know you would be there." 

"You must not have been far away."

"I was not. I'd come to hear of the conclave but did not want to get close."

R.J. ducks her head to hide the fact that she almost just rolled her eyes.

"Lucky for us then."

 _"You're going to find yourself saying that a lot about many things that are coming Seeker, better get used to it or you'll go mad."_ She laughs and toasts Solas and Cassandra with her ever present veil tea.

Many bandits later...

"You fight hard Seeker." Solas

"We would be dead if I did not." She replies.

 _"Then you might get stuck like me and have to watch all of this unfold. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, well anyone I like."_

He laughs softly at the look of horror that crosses Solas's face. It was quick and if he hadn't been looking he would have missed it. He liked to think he was learning quickly from R.J. If Cassandra spoke it was honest, watch whoever she's talking to. Varric poked and prodded with his questions testing how people really felt and if they'd admit it. Solas hid everything except his anger and disdain. That fascinates R.J. he'd have to find time to ask her about why, but for now he'll watch and remember. Speaking of, he turns towards her only to find her watching him, with a smile and a nod of approval.


	27. Hinterlands - side quests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random quests in the hinterlands and more party banter.  
> I'm in the bad templar part of the hinterlands. 
> 
> They killed an elven farmer because they thought he was a mage, a garden tool and they thought it was a staff. Thedas is just wrong.  
> 5:03am est  
> Ok hang on, I'm editing tense. This chapter is a mess and I'm fixing it.  
> 5:37am i give up.

Cassandra is the first to be annoyed at the silence.  
"I hear reconstruction is progressing well in kirkwall."

R.J. drifts away from Varric and Cassandra.

_"Oh this is going to be a wreck."_

"I know things are bad there." Varric replies.

"I wasn't trying to..."

"You weren't trying to remind me how bad it was in Kirkwall so you decided to talk about it?"

"About it's recovery." Cassandra protests. R.J. visibly flinches reaching back to the closest person behind her to hold onto. She hooks her arm around Solas's and tucks into his side. She doesn't even notice whose arm she grabs.

"What you're talking about are the buildings and even that, will take years. People don't recover so easily."

She shakes her head at Cassandra who apparently doesn't know when to leave well enough alone.

"Have you head from any of your associates in Kirkwall?" This seems to amuse Varric.

"You're asking me? So you don't read my letters?"

"You're no longer my prisoner, much as you like to act like it." R.J. turns to say something to him and comes face to face with Solas, who just raises an eyebrow at her, curiously. She drops his arm and backs away, eyes wide. _"Sorry."_ she whispers. 

"Yet I still get all the suspicion." The conversation ends.  
A woman runs up to them asking for help. Templars have killed her elven farmer husband because they thought he was a mage. She asks us to retrieve his promise ring from them, because of course, they took it as a trophy. R.J. glares at Cassandra, but let's it go when even Cassandra looks confused. The woman feels safe approaching us because there are two mages in our group. 

"I'll try, but I don't know where they are or if they've moved on." She is satisfied with that and he turns to the others leading them on.

The Templars are easier to find than he thought. R.J. just floats up to them and they lose their minds attacking all of us. It was quick, it is easy to shoot lightening through her, allowing the first hit to be that much more powerful. 

It's been hours of walking, they're trying to get far enough to establish another camp.  
Surrounded again, by Templars who did not care that they are attacking a Seeker of Truth. Afterwards, He searches the bodies for some sign of why they were there. There is a note in one of their pockets.  
He started to read it but after a few sentences he knows he just can't read it out loud. R.J. looking over his shoulder reads it aloud to the group.

_  
"When the Tevinter Imperium said that mages should rule over man, the Just rebelled against the unrighteous decree. When the circles said that mages should be allowed to consort with unholy spirits without care or consequence, the Just rebelled against the unrighteous decree. Now the Lord Seeker tells us to withdraw to Val Royeaux. My brother's I tell you we are the Just, and we must rebel against this unrighteous decree. Our battle must continue until no mage draws breath. Cast aside these cowardly shackles and join us along the river off the west road. - a letter written in a crisp and educated hand."_

She looks at Cassandra, anger radiating through her body and voice. _  
"Well how do you feel about your brethren now? This isn't the first group just deciding that mages must die because of an accident of birth. There's one in Haven who agrees. This is fucked and I'm **so glad** I don't live here."_ He doesn't know what to do, for her. Her anger towards all of this is starting to become unshakable. She seemed to be, well, getting stuck.

When they stop for the night, Solas approaches him.  
"You might want to send her away if you can. I fear this might twist her. Even though she is not a simple spirit this could be beyond what she can endure. It's only going to get worse." 

"I know. I don't know what to do."  
Solas almost smirks.

"You could try asking her." He nods and walks to where she is hovering watching the campfire.

"Are you alright?" Solas stays out of her sightline but moves close enough to listen and observe her.

_"No. How do you even live here?"_

"I know no other place." She looks up at him, anguish on her features.

 _"This place is lost. It's all hatred, irrational fear, sexism and politics."_ She wraps her arms around herself as if cold. _"It doesn't matter. This is a nightmare."_ He has nothing to say to her. He looks to Solas for guidance but he looks like he might flee if she falls apart anymore. Then Varric speaks up.

"It's not all bad. You've got me, Chuckles and the Herald over here. We'll keep you away from the idiots. Can't always guarantee to keep the Seeker away from you though." He winks at her. Her mouth drops open in shock as she looks at Cassandra. 

_"Varric!"_ Cassandra just rolls her eyes at him. She looks around at the group, Cassandra, Varric, Solas and himself, then sighs and sits down. She tucks her knees up, rests her arms across them and places her chin on her arms. _"You're right. It could be worse."_ He sits next to her, close enough for her to lean into his side if she wants. As she does, she looks up, noticing Solas across the fire and smiles sadly at him.


	28. Haven - chancellor Roderick again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After filling my inventory because I'm a completionist I went back to Haven and got that cutscene.  
> Sigh.  
> I'm waiting for the game to show me mages are as bad as Templars but so far it's not.

Walking back to the Chantry after selling off a bunch of found weapons they come across mages and templars arguing in front of the doors.  
Commander Cullen inserts himself between the two sides physically breaking up the fight.

"Knight-Captain!" The templar shouts.

"That is not my title!" He speaks sounding angry and offended at the same time.

 _"huh. That's new."_ She rolls her eyes.

"We are not templars anymore." He gestures like a teacher lecturing errent children, pointing in their faces. "We are all part of the Inquisition." 

_"I'm surprised no one tried to break off one of his fingers."_ Chancellor Roderick somes stomping up. _"Oh hell. Here we go again."_

"And what does that mean, exactly?" 

"Back already Chancellor? Haven't you done enough?" He gestures around himself to the angry mages and templars.

"I'm curious Commander, how your inquisition and it's Herald will restore order as you promised." Cullen looks up and sees them standing on the edge of the group. 

"Of course you are." The open disdain he shows is suprising. R.J. walks to the side a little ways away.  
"Back to your duties. All of you." Virfen waits until it's just the two of them, then approaches.

"Mages and Templars were already at war. Now they're blaming eachother for the Divine's death."

"Which is why we require a proper authority to guide them back to order." The Chancellor states.

_"What? Really? You don't trust grown adults to do their jobs? The Divine knew **this** was coming."_

"Who? You? Random clerics who weren't important enough to be at the conclave?"

"The rebel inquisition and it's so called Herald of Andraste. I think not." The chancellor scoffs.

_"Why not? World's were saved with less."_

"So far you're the only one whose insisted that we can't work together." He speaks up.

"We might. If your inquisition would recognize the Chantry's authority." 

_"For what?"_

"There is no authority until another Divine is chosen." 

"In due time." The chancellor presses.

_"What is with him and waiting! People are dying!"_

"Andraste will be our guide. Not some dazed wanderer on a mountainside." He insists.

 _"How do you know? Hmm?"_ He turns to Cullen.

"Remind me why are you allowing the Chancellor to stay?" 

"Clearly your templar knows where to draw the line."

"He's toothless. There's no point turning him into a martyr simply because he runs at the mouth. The chancellor is a good indicator of what to expect in Val Royeaux however."

_"Attitude and circular arguments?"_

"How widespread is the violence between mages and templars?"

"Impossible to say." But the Chancellor cannot shut up.

"Your organization flaunting the chantry's authority will not help matters." 

"With the conclave destroyed, I imagine the war between mages and templars, renewed with interest."

"The mages and Templars are fighting? Even though we don't really know what happened at the temple of sacred ashes?"

"Exactly why all this should be left to a new Divine. If you are innocent the Chantry will establish it as so." 

R.J. looks like she wants to smack him for his sheer stupidity. Cullen speaks up, clearly reaching his limit also.

"Or will be happy to use someone as a scapegoat." 

"You think nobody cares about the truth? We all grieve Justinia's loss."

"But you won't grieve if the Herald if Andraste is conveniently swept under a carpet." The conversation ends as Cullen takes his guard stance in front of the doors.

"Don't let anyone riot while we're gone."

"The walls will be standing when you return. I hope." He walks past the commander into the chantry. R.J. does the same on the other side of him. The commander doesn't flinch at her proximity anymore. Suprising. 

_"You've come a long way from demanding to kill a room full of children hiding behind barriers from demons and blood mages. There might be a chance you can learn to adult yet."_ She pats his shoulder as she walks by. And he's back to being freaked out by her. Some things just need to be said apparently.


	29. Mornings *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some silliness and world building because I'm injured and my teenager kidlet is sick.
> 
> * means no in game text.

How many times will he wake up in a tent or a randomly assigned cabin and wonder what the day will bring?  
He rouses slowly, something isn't right. Everything is white and the blankets are much heavier. He touches it, its hair... and follows it back to its owner.  
Next to him is a person, he can see only the back of a head the rest... is blankets.

Really heavy blankets. They're filled with something to make them heavier than normal, it almost feels like its quilted with sand.

He slides out from underneath all of them, stepping onto the cool floor and walks around to the other side of the bed.  
Now that he's standing he can see what he didn't quite see from his first perspective.  
A person shaped lump of blankets with hair and an arm the only things visable. He leans down and gently moves the blankets down from over her face. R.J. it's nice to know for certain that it's just her.

She's wrapped in her own blankets, on top of his blankets, as if she just flopped down too exhausted to move.  
Sleeping, curled up on her side, her back towards him, hair loose and everywhere, locks of it are wrapped around her throat, an arm and underneath her head. Apparently sleep does not come easily for her and does not like to let go once its taken its hold.

He takes the chance to look at her, she is never still.  
Her right hand, wrist and forearm are wrapped in a white compression bandage, as he reaches out, her skin is cold. Startled, he tries to find a pulse at her throat, but she moves from his touch burying back into the blankets. Exhaustion then. If she were anyone else he'd let her be, but how is she sleeping while asleep?

He reaches out, shaking her shoulder, she doesn't respond.

"I don't know enough about the fade and it's inhabitants to know if you are alright but I do know you don't want Solas to see you like this." He speaks softly, enough to wake a normal person but not to be heard outside.  
"Sleep well, dream safe. I will be back later to check on you." He tucks her back in, balls up his blankets and puts them behind her, where he was previously sleeping. He is especially careful not to touch her injured arm.

He leaves silently, setting a locking ward on the door. It's weird walking around Haven without her constant commentary but time waits for no one and he has things to do.

Harrit is the first person to say something about her absence.  
  
"She alright?"  
  
"Yes, she's foraging today."  
  
"Right, then."

That was it. No one said anything to him. Was she really that insignificant to everyone but himself? Out of the corner of his eye he caught one of the nightengale's scouts following him more closely than usual. Ah. He is on the path to the Chantry when one of the orphaned children comes running up to him.

"Where is the Lady?" She holds up a bit of colored string, all snarled and balled up. "She said she'd teach me how to make a bracelet the next time she came back." He leans down and whispers.

"She's not feeling well today, she's resting." He's stopped by the look of horror on her face. He rushes to reassure the child.  
"She's just... come with me but be quiet ok?" The girl nods. He leads her back to the cabin, undoing the ward as he opens the door. She scrambles in and stops.

  
"It's alright. You can look." He walks over to the fire and stokes it, giving the child time to tiptoe closer. She can barely see over the blankets, but is reassured when she does.

  
"Can you tell the other children to stay out of trouble today?" She nods.  
He holds his hand out towards the snarl of threads. "Do you want to leave this for her or try to work on it yourself?" She looks down having forgotten that she was holding it.

"I'll.. I can do it." She clutches it to her chest with both hands. "She told me how." He nods and stands, reaching to usher her out of the cabin. The little girl sniffs once, puts the string in the pocket of her dress and goes with him. Outside he kneels down again to address her.

"No one knows ok, and I'd like her to be able to rest. Will you only tell the ones who have to know?" She grins at him.

"No one really needs to know, I'll take care of the littles today." And skips off.  
He smiles, grateful for the momentary distraction and the knowledge that he isn't quite as alone as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M92STKK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_KICyEbVJ3FEZM
> 
> My 20lb weighted blanket, that I love.


	30. Down with the sickness *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like utter crap and I want to whine.   
> My kid was sick, now I'm sick. bleh.

She hasn't gotten better.  
She has gotten hot and feverish while shivering with cold.  
She coughs in her sleep and cannot breathe out of her nose anymore. 

He has moved from his bed to sleeping by the door on a bedroll. It seemed the wisest course of action. 

The only thing he can do is use his magic to keep the room at a consistent temperature and hope to the creators that whatever she has isn't contagious.

~  
"I don't understand what's going on at all." Commander Cullen states.

"Neither do I. The Herald is refusing to leave his cabin. He's begun taking his meals there as well." Cassandra looks annoyed as usual.

"We cannot deny him food, no matter how strange his actions look." Josephine tries to placate the room.

"She's sick. I doubted she was a living person before but now." Liliana paces in her corner.

"Unless she's reliving how she died, we must just wait it out. What will a few days do to us Commander?" 

"Nothing Cassandra. My soldiers continue to train. We will be fine."

Liliana tilts her head to the side, thinking.  
"If there's no change in two days I'll have to get someone else to look at her. Maybe even put her out of her misery so the Herald will get back to work."

Silence reigns as everyone just stares at her, then at eachother. 

"Very well. Try approaching Solas to look at her first. He might be able to ease her passing to the fade. Any word on the missing scouts?" Josephine is ever the diplomat.  
The meeting continues well into the evening, while no one really rests.


	31. Update- Solas pov *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forgot where I was in game and may have written myself into a corner, let's see shall we?
> 
> Ever had someone pick up a blanket they didn't know was weighted and have it slap you in the face? It's silly and funny and it's happened to me twice. I had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the former chapter 31:  
> I can breathe again, kind of, with medicines!!!!  
> Considering there were very scary days, this is good.  
> I'm hoping to update this tuesday night, Wednesday morning.  
> Tuesday is making sure we have everything we need to shelter in place and get the  
> School laptop for the kidlet ect. 
> 
> When that happens this chapter will be rewritten with plot! This will vanish.  
> Hugs all!!!!!

Five days. Virfen waits. Occasionally sitting outside their cabin but never far enough to let someone slip in behind him, it is warded. He talks to whoever walks by. Looking at requisition requests, sending the children out to gather elfroot, he is doing what both of them would. He pays a servant to bring his meals, with a curious addition of honey in a small pot. Is he going to try to make sure he doesn't get sick?  
She's a spirit, he can't catch whatever she has. Solas heaves a sigh and shakes his head. Exasperated. Sentimentality will get them nowhere, this is pointless.  
~  
The Herald walks quickly to meet with the advisors.  
Some time passes... a small child, a little human girl walks towards him from the Chantry.  
"You never yell, not like they do."  
He nods once a little taken aback.  
"You're a mage like my mommy was, can you look at the Lady?"

"I was not asked, da'len."

"They should." She wanders off playing with a brightly colored bracelet made of yarn on her wrist.  
Surprisingly it is Cassandra who comes to him. 

"We need you to look at her. We know nothing about spirits... the Herald believes that if we let the Commander look at her he will just kill her and be done with it. The Nightingale is close to agreeing with the Commander. Then we would lose the Herald and any hope we have. I cannot allow that to happen." He slowly nods and picks up his staff.

"I spend most of my time in the fade, Seeker." She escorts him to the cabin that the Herald uses, and knocks on the door.

"Then go to sleep and find her."  
The door opens, to Virfen, as Cassandra walks away. He gestures an invitation to enter and steps back inside. As soon as the door closes, wards bloom across the wood. Virfen stares at him for a moment before speaking.

"I don't trust you with her, because she doesn't want you to see inside of her mind. Can you give me your oath that you will not intentionally harm her today? I know better than to ask for more from anyone." 

He nods. "I will do what I can but she exists outside of the fade. I do not know if I can find whatever has her stuck in this state."  
He gestures to a chair and a blanket that are placed next to the bed, on the side of the fireplace.

"I don't know what you need." He walks over to the bed, taking in the foreign blankets with a glance, he lifts the edge to reveal her face but the weight, it slips back through his fingers hitting her with an audible thud.  
Virfen moves closer, between the two of them they reposition the blankets so her head and chest are uncovered to allow for better breathing. As soon as the air hits her she starts shivering. He casts a warming rune on her collarbone, taking the time to feel how cold she actually is. She is corpse cold. He can feel the heat from her head and casts a cold rune on her forehead. 

"I've been doing that for days. You have about an hour before it stops working."  
He acknowledges the statement and moves the chair closer to the bedside. He sits and takes one look around the room, noting Virfen sits on the other side of the bed and holds her hand. He does the same, her skin is impossibly smooth, not quite real, but he doesn't allow the question to form in his mind. He closes his eyes.

They can't breathe. Their body is hot and cold, shivering but sweating. The pain in their head is excruciating, the light hurts, sound is muffled.  
Water... scratches as they swallow... a small red circle burns as it goes down, our hands shake. They collapse inside a gray tent. They wake in a stupor, open the tent, stumble through a room filled with books through a door, vomit mucus and acid. They climb into a tub, water cleanses them from overhead, hot until they stop shaking. Delirium. New clothes, vision blurs, eyes close, they dont need to see here, take bread from a cabinet. Touch a kettle, eyes close, leaves and honey in the water. Drink. Eat. Try not to fall. The walls are white and smooth but they feel like sandpaper as they walk back. Into the tent. Oblivion. Again. It gets better then worse. A small black rectangle by their head. They press numbers. They hear their voice through cotton. They tell the voice whats wrong and how long.  
They try not to cough while speaking.  
"When would I like to come in? How long will it take me to walk? One hour yes, I'll be there." They drop the rectangle, that turns dark. They speak out loud, "find my mask, it's covered in pink flowers, not scary. Ok send kidlet shopping for dinner. He's fine. He's over his."  
blink.  
  
They talk to a chest at eye level. "I'm sending you for food you have an hour and then come home ok? I'm going to the ready clinic." The chest becomes feet as we look down. When did he get so tall? We wonder.  
blink.  
We leave together. Carpeted steps, fourteen. Wood, a door, outside, more steps, a landing more steps. Stone... we look down, we follow the feet, black road, black path, dirt path, woods. We look up to get our bearings. We know where we are. Lights far away through the trees. We watch our feet. Black stone again, count the white lines. The feet go off to our right, we go left.  
blink.  
Glass door. Unknown floor. Must stand up, not look like death. A woman sits behind a desk with panels that light up. We tap our information in. Another door. A panel on the wall. We talk to the woman in blue. The panel lights up. We talk to the woman on the other side in white, repeat ourselves. Correct them. They nod as if we passed a test.  
They let us hear our lungs. Anxiety spikes.  
The woman in the room holds up a box to the woman in the wall. Negative. Negative. We are relieved. Need inhaler, medicines, something pearls. "Just give me concise directions. I'll follow them to the letter. thank you. Its not the flu!" They hand us a packet of papers, at least ten pages. Relief.

Wait in a chair. Eyes closed.  
White bag, slide card into another lit up square. 

Relief. Exhaustion. Direction.  
Go home. Collect kidlet. Wait.  
Those two other way around.  
We can heal. 

Black stone, dirt path, gray stone, steps all of these damn steps, wooden door, shoes off, steps. Door. Searching... ah teenager got home before us. Gives us a bag of something steaming hot.  
Lock door. Crawl into tent. Water, large white pills, swallow.  
The bag, we almost laid on the bag. Wrapped warm, chicken on bread, eat. Hurts but we need to eat. Wrapper and bag, call child, hand over bag. Lay down. Child, no. Our son, we feel pride, closes the tent, walks away. Sleep. Wake up.  
Check square. Numbers. Gold ovals in an orange bottle, take one swallow, water. Hurts less. Sleep.  
Wake up. White bag, papers, white pill, water, red thing exhale all the way, squeeze red, inhale medicine. Hold breath. Sleep. Breathe.

_"Hello?"_

"Yes I am here."

_"Get out of my head."_

He is forcibly removed from her mind and opens his eyes. They are both looking at him now, her blankets are gone, her hair brushed into a white gold curtain, instead of a sickbed mess. 

_"Why were you in my head?"_ He can feel her anger and offence.

"I was asked." She stares at his face, his eyes, searching for something. She doesn't look away, takes her hand from the Herald and clasps his wrist, the one still holding her hand.

 _"You just thought I'd be alright with this?"_ She grips his hand tightly her anger drifting between them, but underlined with fear. He had reservations about himself, but never thought about her. _"Conclusions?"_ she tilts her head to get a better look at his face.

"You were ill. Now you have recovered." He stares blankly back at her. She smiles slightly as if amused. 

_"Take the credit, if you think it will help you in the long run. If not, then say nothing."_ Her fingers slide across the back of his hand, still chilled, as she releases his grip. He let's her hand go as well and stands. She is not completely well, he can see it in the circles under her eyes and the way she breathes, but for now, she is functional.


	32. Hinterlands - my lover's phylactory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm never going to get out of the hinterlands.  
> There's this one shard I can't get around a mountain to find, and it's driving me insane.  
> :headdesk:
> 
> Be safe 💙

Outside of the fort they find a bedroll and another dead templar. He loots the body, as is their custom and finds a letter ... titled...  
"A letter found on a dead templar."  
_  
"You'd think that whoever titles these finds stating the obvious amusing, or are there so many, they get their own classification?"_

"Ellendra, I don't know how this will reach you, but with the last strength of my shaking hands, what else could I do but write you?"

 _"Oh this is going to be a train wreck. Keep going."_ she sighs and crosses her arms, waiting.

"Whether it be the magic of this cursed breech, or the maker punishing me for abandoning my vows, the end is coming. The terrors are with me more often than not. I came here to find some peace with these believers, but the platitudes they mouth are cold comfort. If my mind falls to demons or my own darkness, I fear that even a weakened templar will cause too much harm. I took a draught of bitter herbs. It will be over soon. I wish my weakness had not stopped me from meeting you. With your phylactery, I knew just where you were, but the madness of your side and mine was too great a gap. Maker save you. Stay safe. You need no circle if you carry it within you. Love, Mattrin"

_"So this templar stole her blood from the Chantry to follow her, maybe with her permission, definately not with his superiors permission, saw the fighting between mages and templars and decided it was too much to deal with and killed himself? Honestly, she's better off without him. That's creepy."_

He looks up at her. So does everyone else.

_"He could at least have given the letter to someone, so she'd know. Ten gold says she's a five minute walk away just waiting for him and he's over here rotting like an idiot."_

"No chance I'm taking that bet." Varric says "with our luck she will be the next person we talk to." R.J. looks at him, her gaze blanks, looking far away for a moment, Then her eyes clear, she grins, turns on her heel and starts walking away from them.  
Within five minutes, tucked into a small alcove, standing beside a small cauldron fire, they find a woman in blue mage robes. He approaches her. She speaks up, tired but clear spoken.

"Greetings."

"I believe this is your phylactory. I found it on the dead body of a templar named Mattrin."  
She looks saddened but not suprised.

"Ah, I suspected he died when he did not join me or send word. Maker curse the fools who started this war and the fools who now fight it."

_"amen sister."_

"Thank you. Mattrin was important to me. Here for your trouble. "

"If you're a mage, why aren't you with the rebel mages?" He has to ask. 

"I was an enchanter in the college of equitarians, we wanted tolerance not war. Mattrin and I were certain we could find a way without fighting old friends."

_"he did."_

"And eachother. I know my own strength. I have no fear of demons. I will keep to myself and harm none."

 _"Noble of you."_ R.J. looks a bit exasperated.

"I'd like to know more about you and Mattrin."

She sighs and smiles "Ah, templars and mages, natural enemies they always say, as though you can keep healthy men and women close to eachother for years without anyone getting ideas." 

_"Hah, oh my god, really?"_ R.J. turns away, desperately trying not to laugh. She catches Varric's gaze and almost loses it completely. She changes her focus to Solas who looks entirely unimpressed and schools her expression to match.

"We were friends for many years, then lovers for many more and now he is gone because of this war." 

_"Wait, what? Are you even old enough for that math to work? Stockholm syndrome."_

"You haven't joined the rebels or the refugees. Are you on your own?"

"Yes. It is safer that way for everyone. But first I used my healing skills to help the refugees but when the templars saw me they attacked. Innocent people died in that battle. I will endanger no more."

"The inquisition could use the skills of a powerful mage."

"If I wished to kill others I would have joined the rebels. How is the inquisition any better?"

 _"Wow, she is right though, you're going to have to kill a lot more than you will like."_ A few scrambled thoughts later and it is decided.

"My skills are yours, just give me a moment to gather my things."

_"At least she's Josie's now."_


	33. Hinterlands - The cult- Varric pov

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long.

"I know you, they call you the Herald of Andraste, for what you did at Haven. But are you? The maker has not told me."  
This time Varric was watching for it. She walks behind the Herald as if she were guarding his back, but that's not quite it. She clenches her jaw, as if to stop a laugh, takes a breath, leans forward and whispers.

 _"Here we go. Again, with the crazy."_ She tucks her hands behind her back and steps back glancing around, counting people, looking up to the top of the walls of the fort. She waits for the conversation to continue.  
Virfen answers almost sounding amused as if her mood was catching.

"I honestly don't know myself."

"As I suspected. Stories of you mastering the rifts are just blind heresy." 

"No. I can seal rifts." 

"Then prove it. Show me that the rifts bend to your will, the will of the Maker. Show me the power you weild."

She grins, at the Herald, with too many teeth but steps to the side so the woman can't watch her and the Herald at the same time. 

"This cult.. what is it you're doing here? What is it you think is happening?"

"The Chantry has fallen, and has shown it's imperfection in doing so. The chant of light was a lie."

She ends up next to Solas, close enough to speak to him instead.

_"True but then most religious texts change over the years. As language changes, subtlety and meaning is lost."_

"It was arrogance to think that mortal lips could frame the Maker's will and so we wait in silence." 

_"Well that's better than what the Chancellor is doing."_

"The maker has opened the sky, and soon he will call his chosen back to the Golden City."

She reaches up and places three fingers on the bridge of her nose as if staving off a migraine. Solas watches her as he listens to the conversation.  
He doesn't know what goes on in either of their heads right now but he can bet it's not good.

"Until later."

"Until the maker brings you back to us."  
They leave the woman standing there and proceed to walk over every inch of the place. Planting a marker flag at a monument, gaining an agent for the Nightengale and closing the rift in the back because of course there was one. Surprisingly no demons until they got there. 

_"Solas? I have a question. Do you think the serenity of blind acceptance of the rifts as the will of the Maker, no matter how ill advised, is actually calming them enough to not attract demons through the rift or is it blind luck that they show up when we do? Like cosmic scripting."_ Virfen and Solas both stare at her as she walks back towards the entrance. There is a pause as Solas takes a moment.

"I am unsure of the answer to your question."  
She startles and looks back at him, stopping in her tracks.

 _"Wait, Really?"_ She stares at him directly, watches his face for any movement. _"huh."_  
And just like that the conversation is dropped and they continue back to the entrance.

"Maker's tears! I was a fool to have doubted you. How may we serve you Herald of Andraste?" She keeps walking, ignoring the Herald talking to the former rift cultist, as if it's not important, but her hands are clenched tightly. He follows her.

"What's got you so pissed off?"

 _"People are stupid Varric."_  
He chuckles,  
"That they are, Rage, That they are."

_"It's not rage, it's exasperation."_


	34. Update

I'm a little too angry at the world to write this without projecting everything that makes me upset.   
As soon as I can I will come back.   
Be safe everyone.


End file.
